I'm not handicapped, I'm handicapable

I just want to get something off of my chest today. I bumped into someone today, and I quickly signed that I was sorry. The guy looked confused, and I motioned using clear motions, an x over my mouth and shaking my head, indicating that I can't speak. He scoffed at me, looked me up and down, and went on his way. He joined his friends, while I joined mine. I could hear the guy making fun of me, saying, "You see that weird goth girl over there? She's deaf, talk about a freak." I signed to my deaf friend what happened, asking what should I do, and she marched right over there and said, out loud, that I was mute, and most certainly not deaf. The guy looked shocked , and stammered out a whispered apology, while I signed to my friend what I wanted to say. I signed: "Why are you just now apologizing? When you thought I was deaf, you made fun of me, why? Because you thought I wouldn't be able to hear you? I would have respected you more if you had made fun of me for just being goth."

I guess the thing that bothers me the most is that I'm not completely mute. I'm selectively mute. Selective mutism is where in stressful situations (public places, school, etc.) I shut down, and physically cannot speak. When I'm in school, I can't talk to anyone but my friends, and select teachers, other times I sign, because it is what is most comforatable for me.

I don't look at my disabilities as a weakness, I look at them as strengths. I don't like when people feel bad for me, I'd rather they be proud of me of what I can do, rather than what I can't. And I know lots of other disabled kids who feel the same.

Sorry about the strang rant today.