Why, Tokio Hotel? Just....why?

Tokio Hotel, oh my goodness, honestly, I was contemplating even writing this post because I knew one blog post could not hold in my love for them. Trust that it's a lot. It's more than a lot, actually, it's astronomical, it's.....it's just a huge amount.

For ten years, I have been a Tokio Hotel fan. Yes, I got bullied because I liked them and they looked 'girly' or 'weird' (TRY BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING). Blah, blah, blah, most Americans just don't understand them, okay? Anyway, my point is is that at one point, if any of the boys had asked me to rip out my own heart and hand it to them, I would have, blindly, and happily, thanking them the entire time.

I'm a (mostly) reasonable adult now, and I do accept change. No, this isn't going to be one of those fangirl hissyfits because one of them cut his hair or anything. I love their look, I love that they completely change their look every few months. That's life, that's art, that's called being an artist and a creator. If you ask them not to change, you're asking them to stop being themselves. Hold up your copy of Schrei (or Scream if you got into them late and/or don't speak German). Okay, now hold it up to your copy of "Humanoid." Do those cds sound alike at all? BE HONEST. No, one is a natural progression of the other, showing growth, maturation and change.

Five years. Five years is how long I and many others have waited for a Tokio Hotel comeback. I understood that there was hardly any news from camp Tokio. I understood that the boys needed a break to live life and follow their paths. I understood that their sound would be radically different upon returning, since there was such a large gap between releases. So, tell me, just what the hell Kings of Suburbia is. Besides a disappointing mess that frankly just made my heart hurt. I can understand what direction they had in mind. I don't mind the electronic, I knew that they were going for a more electronic heavy sound. But why was there so much?

The vocals are all over the damn place, to the point where at times it's hard to see that this is in fact Bill Kaulitz singing. A few songs I looked to see who was featured because it didn't sound a thing even close to him, and was surprised to see that it was still fucking Bill! I can't hear Tom Kaulitz's signature guitar tone at all, it's been buried under synths. (I honestly almost typed 'Tomi' instead of 'Tom'. As in, the affectionate nickname I've called him for ten years, starting when I was nine and desperately in love with him. God, that's deeply programmed). And, Gorg Listing and Gustav Schafer's bass and drums have all but been replaced by machines that do not even begin to live up to their skills respectively. The only song that even barely smacks of real Tokio Hotel is "Run Run Run." Basically, this whole album is a letdown garnished with a giant scoop of 'What the fuck?'. I want my five years of breathless anticipation back.

Now, this is where I get totally despaired because it's, it's just so....so wrong. Tokio Hotel stood for being different, for being meaningful, for being yourself no matter what. Their video for "Girl Got a Gun is basically everything that is wrong with their new sound (I can't even bring myself to call it new Tokio Hotel, because simply, it's NOT). I liked the colorful people. They reminded me of My Chemical Romance (my absolute favorite people on this entire planet and universe and anywhere and everywhere else in the galaxy)'s video for "Na NaNaNa NaNaNaNa NaNaNaNaNa". I liked the outrageous outfits and the crazy hair and even the bare, most basic plotline. I did not like the eating of blurred out phallic items. I did not like the masturbating furry. I did not like the blurred out grotesque penis on the furry. I did not like the bouncing ping pong balls that represented ejaculation.

Their video for "Love Who Loves You Back,"? Terrible also. I'm all for the LGBTIQA support, I love it. I liked the fact that they had same sex couples in the video. I think they need more representation in modern music. I do not like the all out orgy that makes up the majority of the video. It's a common trapping artists from other countries make. It's a well known fact that sex sells. It's obvious. You do not need to out-sex and out-shock literally everyone else in the business WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE A VERY SIZABLE FANBASE IN AMERICA! They already do! The only fanbase larger is their German one! You don't need to grab us, you've already got us! They gave in to the American popular society, completely forgetting that their fanbase is in the alternative and Goth inclined. Were we not good enough now that the boys are all grown up? Do they just want the nascent and shallow electronic and club crowds? Is that all they are now, a repetitive and hollow electronic and dubstep group?

Where is the band that held my hand and said it would be all right? Where is the group that took me away from all of the hurt and gave me a world all about happiness and freedom? Where is the band that championed against bullying and fought for kids to be accepted exactly as they are? Where is the band I learned German for? You think I'm kidding? Tokio Hotel ist alles für mich! Ich liebe sie, und sie brach mein herz!

I'm an angry punk........but the 5 year old in me won't let go of the Backstreet Boys

I'm not joking when I refer to myself as a punk historian. You want to hear the history of punk? Pull up and chair and pick an area of the US or a European country to start with because you're about to get learned, son. I did a research paper on just the New York and England scenes from 1970-1979 and was finished in three days. It was 35 pages long. Single spaced.

I know every subgenre from Oi! to Brazilian melodic to early-nineties-LA-bubblegum-glitter-glam. I got friends spanning from Al B Damned to Texas Drag Queen Massacre to Ionia to The Casualties down to the local punks around here in Bleach Drinker. I've read so many books on punk that I had to buy a separate bookshelf just for them and it ended up collapsing under it's own weight. When I was being interviewed for my first internship at 16 and was asked about my experience in the field, I had none so I talked for an hour about the impact of the Sex Pistols on modern music in general. That's how I got hired over college grads. Safe to say, I know my shit.

I also have an undying love for boy bands. Say what you will, I promise I give a shit. Not really. It started when I was 5. I had been listening happily to Marilyn Manson and Slipknot for around a year (my mother used to be an Aerosmith, White Snake, Def Leppard and Motley Crue groupie (unsuccessfully, thank god)). Then "It's Gotta Be You," was heard blaring from the TV where my eight year old half sister sat staring dreamily at these five baggy pants and tank tops wearing, hip thrusting young men. Their lack of makeup and masks did confuse me, as did the missing of screaming and curse words, but their voices were so melodic and, well frankly, pretty. I was hooked. Now my days consisted of badgering my mother to make me mix tapes of Millennium and Anti-Christ Superstar so I could listen to my favorite guys on the way to school.

Despite a brief obsession with *NSYNC, which faded away with the announcement of their "hiatus", the Backstreet Boys continued to be my guilty pleasure. Yup, I supported them through Kevin's departure, their unspeakably rapid decline in popularity, the lost sounding Unbreakable album , the dance hall heavy This Is Us, Kevin's blessed return, everything, okay? I even got beat up when I was ten because I refused to refer to them as the "Back Door Boys".

Oh, turning twelve. Emo was happening and I was on the boat to skulls and studs island. My Chemical Romance became my lords and saviors and everything I owned suddenly turned red and black. I pruned my closet of anything brighter than a dull grey (blood red not counting of course), and boxed up my precious boy band tapes in fear that someone would find them and declare me *gasp* a poseur. But late at night, when my panda eyes had been rubbed off and my fake piercings had been removed, you could find me curled up under my (black) comforter, listening to "Let me tell you about the call that changed my des-ti-nay-ay......"

Over half a decade later, and I still love My Chemical Romance and Slipknot are still the greatest band in the history of the universe in my opinion, and my nickname is still Joey after I wouldn't shut up about the Ramones for a solid year, and my bedclothes are still black (which makes finding my black phone in them at night fun), and I STILL LOVE BSB. These boys (men, really, they could be my dad if I'm being honest) still have a special place in my heart. I have every album (including the rare European version of their debut album). I have the singles, the magazines (with hearts around Brian, who was destined to be my husband in my mind, and who is still my favorite member), the hoodies, the posters, the key chains, every embarrassing merch item my preteen hands could grab. I made a fan art that had all of their singles wound into the picture for their twentieth anniversary. Judge me if you want, I'll be over here listening to "Bay-bay, it's the way ya make me, kinda get me go cra-zay, never wanna stop!"