I really fucking wish I had some other friends. But no, BRILLIANT me had to fall for the only fricking friend I have that sticks around consistently. And, yeah, he's a dumb asshole who doesn't seem to realize when he fucking crushes my feelings, but he's all I got.
"You don't count as a girl"
"Yeah, but girls' opinions matter more than yours"
"You're not a real girl, not like an actual one, you know?"
Now, it would be totally understandable if he said this things and was clueless about the way I felt. But no, this guy is completely aware of how heart wrenching-ly in love with him I am and still says these things. Don't get me wrong; I am well aware that he will never return even one iota of my feelings, I chose to stay around him because I like being his friends. I just wish he wasn't a dick about my feelings.
I compliment people I know, everyone is well aware of this; I'm that nice person who no one seems to know where they came from, but all know that they get along with most everyone. So when I tell him, "Hey, that color looks good on you." Or, "You look nice, what's the occasion?" Tell me why this dude reacts like I just pulled a Gilderoy Lockhart on him and dropped a flipping mangy singing dwarf on his legs. (I reread Chamber of Secrets recently, can you tell?) NO SHIT, I know you don't want me, it's not like I proposed fricking marriage, I said you looked nice.
He says it'd be easier if I would just move on. Oh really? It would make your life easier because you feel a tiny bit awkward when I say you look nice or when one of your friends or teachers asks if I'm your girlfriend? Really? Because that sounds like a fucking picnic compared to my situation of having to listen to you drone on about how no girl wants you or even notices you, how hot some passing girl is, how you INTENTIONALLY try to make me jealous and then get put out when I don't do anything. Or whenever I bring up a guy I'm interested in or just met, you roll your eyes and change the subject, or bitch and moan how they're taking my attention away from you. I LOVE IT LET ME TELL YOU. You don't get to monopolize all my time, then constantly tell me you don't want me, then get shitty when I try to date other people. YOU TOLD ME TO GET OVER YOU WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?
I don't understand what the fuck he wants from me and my patience is running real thin. I'm the kind of person where if you're not gonna shit, get off the pot. You can't ride two horses with one ass. Don't sit in the desert with your mouth open waiting for it to rain; you'll just wait yourself to death. Oh my god, I will never get rid of my mother's backwoods folklore, will I?
I just want him to go away, he's more trouble than he's worth, honestly.
